Inch by inch

Ever feel like you aren’t stuck in life but, boy oh boy, are things moving slow? Man, I have! Days where I look to the horizon and I see awesomeness out there but it just feels like it’s taking for-ev-er to get there. The saying “slower than Christmas” comes to mind. This can be in any area of life…home, family, work, church, relationships…anywhere. Ever feel like God has set something in your heart…something that you know that you know that is going to happen…it just hasn’t happened yet. You look back and you can see your footprints that are leading you toward that something but it is still just a loooooong way off. Ever feel totally frustrated and just want to freakin’ get there? Like you’re 3/4 of the way through a road trip and you can see the signs that tell you that you are getting close to your final destination…you just ain’t there quite yet. Usually on our long road trips this is the point where everyone gets more tense, a little more snippy and whiney. We just want to get there!!!!!

“But I will not drive them out in a single year, because the land would become desolate and the wild animals too numerous for you. Little by little I will drive them out before you until you have increased enough to take possession of the land” Exodus 23: 29-30

Moses…oh Moses…the man of waiting…and friends, he didn’t even get to go to the Promise Land in this life…he got a glimpse before he died. He did however set foot in the Promise Land at the transfiguration with Jesus. Look that one up and be amazed!!!! When he met with Jesus and Elijah on the mountain…smack dab in the middle of the Promise Land my friends! Promise fulfilled!!!!! Matt 17:1-13

But let’s get back to Exodus. Moses said these words…well really God said these words through Moses to the Israelites. God had made a promise….the Promise Land. But God knew that the Israelites weren’t ready to take over the whole area. Maybe they didn’t have the man power. Maybe they didn’t have the tools needed to take care of the land yet. Maybe they just couldn’t get to all the land right away (no cars kids…road trips were on foot or animal..talk about a long walk!) But God knew that they weren’t ready and couldn’t take care of His entire gift to them just quite yet, and He knew that if He cleared the land too soon it would be taken over by wild animals and would not be good ground for His people because it had not been tended in so long. God KNEW! He knew and He did what His people needed Him to do…”little by little”. He did exactly what they could handle, exactly when they could handle it. He was allowing them to learn and grow while they were being given the promise. Could it be that He does the same with us now?

You can see the footsteps behind you getting you closer to your destination but you are still looking to that horizon…to that promise that God has given you. Could it be that He knows what we can handle better than we do? Could it be that He is fulfilling His promise to us but doing it in a way that we can follow and obey and not be discouraged because we’ve been given more than we can handle. Could it be that He is protecting the path where we are fixin’ to walk. Now I’m not saying that God won’t do big sudden things in our lives that move us right into a new land, a new area, a new promise…He does that too, the Bible proves that. But we live in a “fast food” world. We live in a world where we want what we want and we want it NOW! What if we can’t handle what we want right now and God knows that. If you have kids like I do, you know that they often think themselves much more capable than they really are…think 2 or 3 year old thinking they are big enough to pour themselves a drink from a full gallon of milk. What happens…BIG MESS and then Mom and Dad and the helpful dog 😉 get to clean up the milky mess on the floor. Knowing that God knows better than me what I can handle at any given time better than I do makes me feel oh so much better. So, I have a decision to make. I have a choice…I can whine and complain that it is taking too long or I can be thankful that He knows and He is in control and He will get me exactly where I need to get exactly when I am ready to get there. Oh that we would choose to keep our eyes on that horizon of promise and step where He knows is safe for us to step and trust He will get us there safely. Enjoy the journey!

The Chart

A sweet friend asked me to share the Marsh Big Top behavior chart. About a year ago Gregg and I were scrambling for something…anything to help with behavior at the house. It felt like we were always giving consequences and then forgetting to follow through. For example, a Marsh kid might do something naughty earlier in the day (shocking I know!) and we would take away their dessert that night after dinner but once dinner time came around we would forget what we had said…kids have that effect…memory loss and gray hair. We tried a billion different things and finally came up with something that works for our house. So here’s our chart. It’s a dry erase board hung in the hallway between the family room and the kitchen – the main traffic path in our house. It is divided into 3 parts…one for each kiddo. We use the dry erase board for lots of things…keeping discipline counts, keeping track of grounding days, listing chores for the day or week.

So here’s what we do. We started handing out “strikes”. Yep…baseball theme…all about sports in this house. Truth be told, I actually I totally stole the idea off the discipline system at the boy’s school. Whenever one of my rascals does something naughty they get a strike on the board. They have to put the strike up themselves which seems to have a bigger effect. They have to go and get the dry erase marker and put an “x” on the board. At the end of the day if they have 3 strikes they lose all evening privileges which in our house includes dessert and reading for 30 minutes in bed before going to sleep. If they have 3 strikes by the afternoon it also means they lose their 20 minutes computer/i pad/DS time. If at the end of the day they have 6 or more strikes (oh yeah, you know it happens around here) they start the next day with 3 strikes.

BUT wait…there’s more! The chart also gives them a chance to be rewarded for good behavior. If they are caught doing something selfless and sweet and nice they can be given a candle which represents shining Jesus’ light in the world. Here’s the kicker…they can’t ask for a candle. They can’t say…”Mom, I gave Zack an hug, can I have a candle”..they have to be caught in the act. We’ve gotten to the point where siblings can also hand out candles. So for example, if we ask the kiddos to put the card table and chairs out for pizza and movie night and one kid does all of it so the others don’t have to…the kid gets a candle.

One candle takes away one strike….so conceivably at the end of the day they could have 3 strikes and 2 candles which equals 1 strike (yep…teaches math too ;->) and so they get all their night time privileges. IF they have an awesome day with no strikes and 3 candles then they get an extra big dessert or get to read for longer in bed or do something else special.

The nice thing is that we can see how the day went and so can the kids. They know when they’ve had a good day or a rough day and know when the day is done what they can and can’t do. And with the exception of the over six strikes carry over rule, each day the chart is wiped clean and they get to start again.

The thing with discipling your kids is you have to find what works for you and your family. Every kid has different things that are important to them and different kinds of discipling that works with them. We finally found something that works for us, but it doesn’t mean it will work for you. This chart works in this house because it is something that we are actually consistent with and are sticking to. That’s the key…you have to find something you can be consistent with. Steal this idea…it’s all yours, or find something else…there are a billion different ideas out there and one might just be crazy enough to work for you. Hang in there sweet friends with kids!!!!