Desolate Woman

Let me just start by saying, I know I am going to get drawn an quartered by many Christians for saying this, but I have a HUGE problem with David.  You know, King David…the big dog.  The killer of giants, the warrior, the poet, the singer, the psalm writer.  The man after God’s own heart.  Y’all when I read my Bible, the man after God’s own heart was kind of a wank.

Now before you get the tar and feathers out, hear me for a second.  David had an open, naked, amazing relationship with God.  He LOVED the Lord.  He did.  But he did NOT love his family or friends well AT ALL.  It has bothered me for years that often, especially young men in the church, grab on to the person of David and love his stories because in those stories, yes, they learn to love the Lord but they also learn horrible ways to treat the people they should love.  And come on y’all, let’s be real, church folk got problems just like everyone else and we don’t always do a great job loving others.

I’ve been teaching through the women in David’s life.  That has NOT made me like David more.  As a matter of fact, it has made me like him even less.  Like, when I get to Heaven, I kinda want to have a looooonnnggg talk with David about how not to be a wank.  And God and I have talked about David…..a lot.  And I have struggled with how such a horrible man could also be a man after God’s own heart.  And God and I are still talking.

But today…..today I learned to shift my focus.

Today I finished studying Tamar (2 Samuel 13), daughter of David who was raped by her half brother, avenged by her brother (who incidentally also hushed Tamar up (2 Samuel 13:20)), and ignored by her father.

Y’all this is my LEAST favorite story in the Bible.  I HATE this story.  I hate that this happened (and yes, still does happen these days).  But, I will say, it’s stories like these that make me know that I know that the Bible is real.  Find me a human on the planet who creates a religion and then is willing to share this story with no neat, pretty bow on the end.  This story makes humans look evil, pathetic, lame, stupid, and lots of other words I want to say but won’t.

But God uses the stories to show us that even in our wank-dom, He still loves.  He is bigger.

God uses this story to remind us that just because something horrific happens to a person, they didn’t always have it coming.

Oh come on….. let’s be real here.  A lot of the time as Christians we look at the world and see people and secretly think…..

Homeless……lazy

Divorced.….cold and hateful and drove them away

Sickness…..must have some unconfessed sin in their life

Tragedy..….again, they must be doing something bad that no one but God knows about

Yes, there are times where we get what’s coming to us, but we have defaulted to believe that is the norm.  Y’all sometimes big, stinky, smelly, horrific crap happens to people because it just happens not because of what that person has done.

So here’s my focus shift.  I was sitting here getting more and more mad at Amnon, Absalom and David….and then I remembered Jesus.  (It’s funny how when we are mad at others we can forget Jesus)  So I asked how would Jesus have responded to Tamar?  And everything changed.

David may have been a man after God’s own heart but Jesus is fully God and fully man.  It’s how Jesus does things that I should learn from and not David.  And when you look at stories of Jesus and women (and there are a lot) they are always full of love, and acceptance and HEALING and grace and mercy.

There’s the first part of this blog……..

So how did I get to the title of this blog “Desolate Woman”

“So Tamar lived as a desolate woman in the house of her brother Absalom” 2 Samuel 13:20b

That SUCKS!  That should not be!  That BREAKS MY HEART!!!!

Desolate woman (or man)

I know desolate women (and men) and I do NOT want them to be desolate women (or men) !!!!

I do NOT want to be a desolate woman!!!!

So here’ the second part of this blog…..

If you have had awful things happen to you in your life.  If you had no control over what was done to you.  If you are living in pain and shame and hurt

First of all.  I am SO, SO, SO, SO SORRY!

A lot of the stupid things in my life were my own dang fault.  Cancer is not.  Cancer is what is trying to turn me into a desolate woman.  I didn’t choose it.  I didn’t cause it.  It’s just there trying to kill me.  So although I might not understand your specific pain.  I understand.

Here’s what I know.

I WILL NOT BECOME A DESOLATE WOMAN!

How?  How do I choose to not become a desolate woman?

Only with Jesus.

“Only God’s healing and mercy and grace can restore our sense of self worth and provide a fresh beginning” Every Woman in The Bible pg 134

So….if you are a desolate woman (or man)…..PLEASE ask God to bring restoration and grace and self worth and fresh beginnings that only He can bring.  The world can’t.  Self help can’t.  Only He can.  He will!  I know this in my bones.

If you know a desolate woman (or man)…..PLEASE stop judging (if you are), reach out and hold her (his) hand and lift her (him) up and introduce her (him) to God who brings restoration and grace and self worth and fresh beginnings.

And if you are in danger of becoming a desolate woman (or man)…. PLEASE join me in SCREAMING, NO!  PLEASE CHOOSE to focus on the Warrior during the battle.  His strength is what carries me through.

We are NO LONGER DESOLATE!

And David…..some day, we’ll chat.