Blind lives

No one has ever lived a life exactly like my life. Not one human since the dawn of time. And no one ever again will live the exact same life as mine.

Yes, there are many of people who have had very similar singular experiences but no one has ever had the exact same combination of life experiences as I have.

And that is the same for everyone. Every single person alive has their own life with their own life experiences that they alone get to live. For better or for worse.

Examples: I was born to two parents who loved me and wanted me. I have been given opportunity my entire life. My mom died when I was 4 years old. When I was young, I lived in a neighborhood where people were real neighbors and community. I lost my home and pretty much near everything we owned in a hundred year flood. I grew up going to church. I went to a wonderful private school. I was bullied mercilessly as an elementary school kid. I am a very healthy, active person. I had cancer. I have three amazing kids. I had three miscarriages. I have a husband who loves and adores me. I also have a road warrior for work husband. And…..and….and…..and…..and…..and.

I have friends who don’t wholly understand because they have never had the same life experiences. But they still love me.

There are experiences that people I know and love have had that I never have…….I have never wondered where my next meal was coming from. I have never lived on food stamps. I have never been arrested because of what I look like or the color of my skin. I have never been raped. I was never molested as a child. I have never been physically abused.

I can’t wholly understand because I never had those life experiences. But I still love them.

When I was diagnosed with cancer I started a Facebook page called “Keepin’ it Real”. I started it because I needed a place to vent as I walked and continue to walk through that reality but also I realized how many people knew someone who had battled breast cancer but how few people truly knew what life was like while battling cancer. And the response has been amazing. I have had people who have thanked me for sharing…..because they just didn’t know.

How would they know? Without either experiencing something for yourself or truly listening and learning from someone who has experienced it….you will never know. You just can’t.

So let’s talk about today. Let’s talk about our world.

I am a woman. I am a white woman. Some of very my best, most precious friends in the whole wide world are black women. I would lay down my life for these women. I love them to my core. I know our experiences together but I anything I know about living life as a black woman and racism and persecution they have experienced……I know from my black female friends telling me their experiences.

I am not a man. I am not a white man or a black man or a Hispanic man or an Asian man. I am married to a white man. I have dated a black man. Some of my very closet male friends and family are black and Hispanic. I know our experiences together but the only thing I know about being a man….white, black, Hispanic, Asian or any other race, or any racism or persecution they have experienced….. I know from men telling me their experiences.

I am a Christian. I am not Jewish. I am not Muslim. I have social life experiences from being Christian….both good and bad. I have precious friends who are Jewish and are Muslim. I know our experiences together but the only thing I know about being Jewish or being Muslim and racism and persecution they have experienced, I have learned from my friends sharing their life experiences.

There are a lot of white people I know who are not racist. (hold up, don’t get mad yet) In their lives, they truly love everyone, regardless of skin color. They have close friends of every race. They live in an area where they don’t actively see racism happening like they see on t.v. or social media. So they don’t think systemic racism exists. They don’t have the experience. The problem is that if you, as a non-racist white person, would take the time to listen to experiences of your black friends you are going to hear their experiences that are going to shock and shred your heart. And then you listen to experiences of black people you don’t know who live in areas where racism is blatant and obvious and your heart is going to be shredded and you are going to be very uncomfortable and you are not going to know what to do. You then have a choice….to listen and see that systemic racism is real or you can shut your ears and ignore it. But it doesn’t change the fact that racism is real and is it evil.

Yes, there is other horrible evil in the world.

Yes those need to be dealt with as well.

But this is today. And today we are faced with this evil problem.

And today we white folk have a choice. How do we start to repair the damage and eradicate the evil of racism?

How about we start by not living blind.

How about we start by listening to the stories of life experiences that we can never have because we have white skin.

How about we choose to open our eyes and not deny reality just because it’s not a part of our little daily bubble.

And to my black people….PLEASE share your stories. Keepin’ It Real ain’t just for cancer! We NEED your stories!

You may not consider yourself racist. I do not consider myself racist. But racism exists. And by ignoring it we are condoning it….and that is a problem. That is evil.

It’s time to stop living blind

It’s a first step.

Choose to take the first step.